Intention behind interaction

Humans are naturally social beings. This is because social connections are crucial for survival, reproduction, and overall well-being, and have been a driving force throughout human evolution. But the source is deeper than that. Social connections and meaningful relationships give us a deep sense of support, belonging and happiness. To interact is to contribute to another being's experience. Interactions and relationships require two or more sides. An interaction is both given and received. It is a two-way road, a personal message. In today's episode, we will explore some important tools that help you interact with purpose, intention, and presence and promote more meaningful, sustainable, and fulfilling relationships with others. We will begin to hone in skills of using active listening, reflection, empathy and compassion in interactions while seeking balance with advocating for ourselves and identifying clear relationship standards. EPISODE NOTES Bid of connection: The effort or invitation to share a positive interaction with another human. It can be verbal or nonverbal, subtle or direct. It may be asking a question or sharing an observation, story, or joke with others. It may also be a physical act of connection like a loving squeeze, a pat on the back, a high five. or a hug. There are three ways to respond to a bid of connection; the first one is to turn towards the bid, this involves responding positively and showing interest. The second way is turning away which involves ignoring or not realizing the bid of connection being made. Lastly, the final way is turning against which is rejecting the bid of connection. When building a relationship or repour with someone, consistently "turning toward" bids of connection helps to strengthen the relationships foundation and build trust and emotional safety. Set an intention: Intentions help turn mindless interactions into mindful connections. An intention is an underlying aim, goal, or focus. Consciously setting intentions guides your behavior and mindset throughout interactions and conversations working to promote presence and intentionality. They act as a personal mantra, if you feel yourself drift or become tense, you can recenter yourself with your intention to help you find clarity and purpose behind your interactions. Active listening: When interacting and conversating, the simplest bid of connection is to listen to the other person, to really listen, to fully immerse yourself in the conversation. Set the intention to engage and learn as much as you can. Make eye contact, ask to follow up questions. Two step reflection strategy: Before an interaction: How do you want to show up? What energy do you want to embody? What is your purpose in this interaction? How do you want to make the other person feel? Does this align with your values and the person you want to be? After the interaction: reflect on whether your actions and words reflected your initial intentions. Reflect on your perspective before and after the interaction, and weigh in new insight, takeaways, and any notice areas that need improvement. Self-advocacy: The ability to speak up for yourself to communicate your needs, rights, and preferences to others. Relationship standards: Your relationship standards are what you fundamentally need to feel comfortable, safe, valued, and fulfilled in a relationship. They dictate what you will and will not allow into your life. They protect your personal wellbeing and the quality of life you want for yourself. What are your relationship standards? Brainstorm the qualities that are non-negotiables for you in a relationship like mutual respect, honestly, trust, communication, and shared values. Think about the person you want to be and the people you want to surround yourself with. You may also benefit from reflecting on past relationships and situations where your needs weren’t met. Past situations and relationships offer real life experience to help you identify what makes you feel loved, safe, fulfilled and what makes you feel unfulfilled, devalued, and unsafe. Think about the person you want to be and the people you want to surround yourself with. “I statements” are a communication technique that you can follow to communicate your standards with others in a clear and direct way without sounding accusatory or rude. They usually start with the word I followed by a description of your experience and emotions then concluded with you stating your standard, boundary, concern, or your desired change. “I” statements intentionally make it about you to avoid blaming others leading them to get defensive. It brings the focus to your internal experience and feelings giving them the opportunity to see your perspective and inviting them to share their own perspective, thoughts, and feelings. “I” statements help to shift away from conflict, me vs. you to let’s be a team and come together to figure this out. Example: instead of saying “you never listen to me” rephase it to “I feel unheard when you appear distracted when I am talking to you.” Then, you can enforce your standards by communicating the desired change. “I would like for you to devote quality time for me without distractions.” Empathy: The effort and skill to understand, share, and respond to another person's feelings and experiences by "stepping into their shoes" to see the world from their perspective. In relationships, empathy can help to build emotional safety and trust. When you try to understand others, they feel seen, heard and valued. Others are then more prone to take the time to empathize with you as well. By employing the use of empathy, you are able to ponder other perspective with more of an open mind gathering more insight and resources to help guide your decision making. Empathy isn’t just about conflict and hardships. When your friend feels excited about an achievement, you can feel that. Your support shows that you care and you want them to succeed. If you see someone sitting alone at a party, you may emphasize with their loneliness and feel inclined to invite them over. These small yet impactful considerations for others are what the world needs more of. Be the change you wish to see in the world.